the things nobody bothers to tell you about being pregnant

This post is going to detail some of those weird I-never-knew-that-happened-when-you-were-pregnant things that apparently you only get to learn about when you're knocked up.

But first, check out Moohoo's growth! Despite only gaining a quarter of a pound between my last pre-natal midwife visits, she seems to be fattening up quite well:


These pictures are from last weekend, just a couple of days past my 34 week mark. At my appointment on Monday I measured at just slightly over 34 cm, so I'm right on track with Moohoo's due date. She has settled herself in a head-down position, and my midwife helped me to feel her head in my lower abdomen to prove it! At this point, she should stay in that position for the rest of her time in utero... we hope!

Before my rant about super secret pregnancy club secrets, I also have to share a new nursery picture. How adorable is this purple butterfly lamp shade? Mike is especially fond of how it ties the room together... ;)

Okay, so there are some pregnancy stereotypes, side effects, and symptoms that most people know about: morning sickness, swollen ankles, and weird food cravings, to name a few. That's not to say that everyone experiences these things, but they seem relatively common and universally known. But when you are pregnant you suddenly become part of this secret society of women, and all the strange, untalked about about parts of pregnancy are revealed (and some you have the joy of discovering all on your own). Some of those oddities include:

1. Nose stuffiness. Yup, a perpetual stuffy nose is part of the package. I have so far avoided the even more unpleasant nose bleeds that often accompany this particular side effect. I've read and heard stories about pregnant women waking up in the night with blood streaming out of their noses, or needing to blow their noses so often their skin becomes raw and chapped. Ick.

2. Everyone will tell you that you're fat. Everyone. Strangers, even. People you thought were your friends. For some reason, growing a person inside of you gives free reign to everyone in the world to unload about how huge you are getting, and you're supposed to just take it. So far, I've been told I'm "as big as a house," "getting huger by the day," "a lot bigger than my friend who is pregnant," and, in one particularly pleasant interaction, someone told me that she "couldn't believe I could possibly look any fatter," as I was struggling to put my coat on over my humongous baby belly. Now, I have come to terms with giving up all control over my physical being, but I have not yet fully accepted that I'm supposed to just smile pretty while people call me fat.

3. Weird muscle cramping. Leg cramps, eye twitches... it all happens, and it's all weird and uncomfortable. I haven't had it as bad as some of the other women in my hypnobirth class, but I have experienced my share of middle-of-the-night leg cramps that have woken me out of a dead sleep.

4. Bloody gums. My dentist warned me about this one, and it's true. My gums haven't been tender, but they do gush blood nightly while I floss. It's pretty disgusting.

5. Pregnancy brain. I guess I've heard anecdotes about women becoming more forgetful or disorganized while pregnant, but I was not prepared for the overwhelming loss of brain power that I've experienced in the last 8 months. While trying to think of the word "window" I went through a list of unrelated words to explain what I was talking about. Those words included "laundry," "wedding," and "plumber." No idea why. I also wished Mike a "Happy Birthday" two weeks ago after he said "Happy Friday." Just can't maintain verbal control these days.

These are just a few... the really weird stuff like pica, intense mood swings (from crying to giggling fits), mask of pregnancy, and linea nigra are beyond my pregnant brain's ability to share in this post. Who knows what new and odd things will happen to me in the next 5 weeks as Moohoo continues to fatten up and take over my body in all ways. I'll certainly keep you posted.